W.O.W.

Words of Wisdom
By Carolena

Moms prefer to start the day by jumping out of bed in a panic. It really helps to get their blood flowing. Screeching "There's a lizard on my pillow!" or climbing on top of Mommy while she's still snoozing to announce, "there's blood on my finger" are two great ways to help your mom start her day on the right foot.
*Mommy note: There was in fact an anole on her pillow. The blood turned out to be a booger. Awesome.

If you need something done by an adult order Mommy to do it. "Open this for me," "Give me that," and "Wipe my hiney" are great examples of how to speak to moms. Mommy will probably respond with some asinine comment about how she can't hear you when you speak like that. She will insist that she can only hear and respond accordingly to things asked politely. She wants you to say things like "Mommy, will you please open this for me?" I think deep down Mommy actually believes she will win out on this and that eventually she won't be bossed around by her children. Mommy thinks that someday her persistence will be rewarded with you asking politely the first time instead of demanding what is rightfully yours! Aw, isn't that cute?

Mommies like to multitask. For instance, if Mommy is nursing the baby that is a great time to bring her your shoes and socks. Even though you know how to put them on by yourself, throw a tantrum and insist that Mommy do it for you. Ugh, it's not like she's actually having to do anything while the baby is eating. When Mommy is tying your shoes and the baby is distractedly eating while watching you get dressed you'll know that's the prime moment to tell her you need help to go to the bathroom.