Who Am I?!

Years ago my sister and I invented something we refer to as "the game." I use the term "invented" loosely here as I'm sure it existed already. What is "the game?" I'm glad you asked. Well, it's a game where we decide who everyone in our family would be in a movie. Sounds simple right? But it's not who people in our family would want to be in a movie... it's who they would be. And it's not who they would play if we were acting out the movie... it's who they are in the movie. The rules to this game are somewhat difficult to explain because they are unspoken. You just have to play and you either get it or you don't. And actually, we don't let anyone else play because we are mean... soooo... yeah... awwkkkwarrrddd.

Anyway, when we're together we like to name a movie and then start doling out the parts.

So, for instance, in Austin Powers 3 my mom is Foxy Cleopatra, my dad is Michael Cane (and might always be Michael Cane in this game...?), Hunter is Austin Powers, I'm Goldmember, and Kelly is Henchman arbitrarily turning knobs. For some reason of all of these designations the only person offended is Kelly. I have to live with being Goldmember and she complains about being Henchman arbitrarily turning knobs. I'm not sure it's actually the character designation that bothers her as much as how hard I laugh at that. Every time. Judge's rule on her complaint? I'll allow it. It's the first child's prerogative to whine. It's the second child's prerogative to eat old candy found in the couch.

So, Goldmember, eh? Who else am I?
Well, I'm Miracle Max in The Princess Bride (Kelly is not a witch, she's my wife!).

and this girl in Mean Girls

 

And Anthony in Bottlerocket due primarily to this one scene:
"One morning, over at Elizabeth's beach house, she asked me if I'd rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life."

Hilariously Kelly is Future Man in Bottle Rocket. None of us can quite articulate exactly why, but my friend Julie and I started referring to her as Future Man pretty much the instant we saw that movie for the first time in high school and it just stuck. It works. If you haven't seen that movie I provided a clip - but don't watch it with small children or easily offended people nearby.



I need to call Kelly. I'm having an identity crisis and I can't remember who else I am! Although... looking at this list of characters... maybe that's a good thing.