Isn't it funny when friends on Facebook are all saying the same thing and none of them know each other? The topic du jour lately is about unfollowing and unfriending people. Certainly that has become the quick fix. If someone is too annoying in your newsfeed you can simply unfollow them. Too persistently commenting on your own page? Unfriend them. Ouch. That'll show them.
I, of course, I am guilty of those things. Although, in my defense the unfriended people were people who I literally don't know anymore and I am confident they didn't notice.
But, there is something that I have stopped doing: I have stopped unfollowing people who annoy me. The only people who are unfollowed are the people who were filling my newfeed too often. Those people who were posting too many times a day for me to be able to see anyone else - those are the ones who are gone from it. Anyone who just makes me angry? They stay. And here's why...
Because they exist.
Simply that. They exist. The people who make me mind-explodingly livid? Those people are real. They are flesh and blood people. Not some general idea. Not just some vague notion of "people like that."
The dude who always brings up gender when it is totally irrelevant thus says something completely sexist offending me without realizing it at all? Yes, I know him. He isn't just some guy in a movie. The person who posts the most racist videos, but would be horrified to be called racist? Yep, that person is a real person too. The girl who is "just the worst mom ever" and "omg so fat" and all that self-depreciating jazz, well, we all know at least one of those. And, of course, let's not forget the overly pushy political person who just knows for a fact that all of your well formed opinions are dead wrong. All of those people... those are in fact people I KNOW. Some are the people who I grew up with. Some are their parents. Some are people I met in church. All of these people who can make me so angry on Facebook? So angry that I want to unfollow or (*gasp*) unfriend them? These people are in fact... my friends.
I keep people in who anger me and here's why: because it is good to remember that everyone is having a hard time. Facebook is a good insight into the human condition and, let's face it, Facebook is pretty damn angry a lot of the time. And why is Facebook so angry all of the time? Because people feel angry. People are lonely and sad and self conscious. Blocking and unfollowing and unfriending doesn't change that. It just blocks that from my mind. Pretending it doesn't exist doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Not seeing the anger and rudeness on Facebook doesn't mean it isn't there. It just means it's there and my head is in the sand.
So then what? My Facebook is full of hate... then what? Just get on it and be filled with anger and frustration and sadness? Nope. I think about when my kids are totally melting down and making me crazy. Usually it's a cry for attention. 9 times out of 10 when kids are being "bad" it's because they need some calm, some one on one time. They need a good book and a cup of milk and a quiet voice. They need some calm in the chaos. Bad behavior on Facebook is the same thing. They just need some calm, some love, some hope.
Christ instructs us to pray for our enemies. Could all of this hate pouring from our friends not be a time when we need to heed these words? I don't think I have anyone/anything I would call my "enemy" more than hate. Maybe instead of blocking people from our feeds when they make us angry we should say a prayer for them. If they are so angry as to be filling Facebook with hate, then perhaps they need prayers for peace. I try to not be condescending or judgmental though so usually it ends up along the lines of, "uh... God... I don't know what to pray for them about, but... yeahh... (name)... err... Thy will be done..." and then I sit and think a while and end up saying the Lord's Prayer.
Yes, I keep "those people" in my feed. I want to remember what sexism, racism, and anger really look like... because all of that hate and ignorance... it looks just like me. It looks like my friends. And it reminds me to be kinder to the stranger in the grocery store, to the mom at the playground, to the neighbor down the street. Because if all of these people on Facebook, who seem to "have it all" have so much anger and hurt and sadness and hate coming out of them, then truly everyone is in need of some extra kindness and generosity and love.
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