Thursday, September 11, 2014

The Ants Go Marching 20 by 20

There are some things in life that people like to complain about that actually aren't that bad. Taco Bell for instance. I mean, really, anyone who says they don't eat Taco Bell is a liar. It's like people who say they don't like mayonnaise. I'm calling BS. You do. You might not like the IDEA of Taco Bell tacos. You might cringe at the thought of anything dubbed "salad" and slathered in white creamy goo. But admit it: when it comes to actually eating Taco Bell and mayo, you like them. Nay, you love them. We all know you secretly hit up their drive through on the way home, scarf the nachos, and then ditch the trash in the outside bin.

But what about those things that none of us complain about that actually are truly awful? I discovered one of those things this morning: ants in the car. It's like snakes on a plane. But worse.

After the first one bit the top of my left foot I killed it and assumed it was just one of those freak things. Then the second bite came from left field shocking me as I made a right on red. I knew it had to have been lured to my foot by the scent of it's deceased comrade. Why the hell do ants smell other dead ants and decide to head in that direction?! Hey, I smell something dead of my own species... perhaps I should go check that out.

So ant number two was ruthlessly murdered by a car driving giantess as well. Sorry ant.

I made the rest of the twenty minute drive in fear with my left foot raised onto the seat next to me.

Dear sweet baby Jesus make those damn ants disappear!

Did I mention this was in my mom's car?

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