Clergy Spouse Confessions: The Wedding Date

As a clergy spouse there are inevitably occasions that just seem inherently awkward. For instance: going to a wedding when the only person you know (aka your date) is the priest.

I can't imagine how shy clergy spouses cope.

Cons of going to a wedding as the priest's date:

1. You have to arrive incredibly early. This means it will be family of the bride & groom, wedding attendants, people working at the wedding (including your date), and... well... you. Awkward old you. You'll get to stand around wondering if it would be rude to pull out a book and read while everyone else is hustling and bustling.
2. When it comes time to finally find a seat for the ceremony you'll have to face that inevitable question from an usher, "bride's side or groom's?" Uhhh... well... ahem... what are their names again? I recommend sitting near the back on the bride's side of the aisle. I used to think I should sit on the groom's side because it usually includes less people and I figured my presence would add another body, but then I realized it's easier to blend in on the bride's side. One bonus of sitting by yourself at a wedding: people will assume you've saved the seat next to you for your date and give you a little extra room - a definite perk when sitting in those narrow white wedding chairs.
3. You'll have to wait around while the wedding party takes pictures. If you're lucky they'll quickly get the ones with the priest out of the way and you'll be able to head up to the reception.

Pros of going to a wedding as the priest's date:

1. Your date will be one of the best dressed. No, really, I'm serious. Your date will look classic in clericals and a suit and you won't have to worry about him looking like some yahoo wearing an out of season jacket or clearance rack tie. "Does this black shirt go with my white collar?" Yep. It does.
2. No one will talk to you during the ceremony. As aforementioned, no one is going to sit next to you at the ceremony which means you won't hear any running commentary about dresses, flowers, color choices, or even the best looking groomsman for that matter. You can just sit back, relax, and enjoy the wedding.
3. You won't know anyone at the reception. This might at first seem like a downside, but it is in fact, a fabulous item on the pro list. Knowing only the priest at the reception means very little small talk because once the bride, groom, and their parents chat with the priest that's about it. Everyone else will look past the clergy couple for a more fun looking duo. Little do they know. If only they suspected that the other two things I find fantastic about knowing only my date at a wedding reception are "beer that flows like wine" (Dumb & Dumber anyone?) and tons of anonymous white-girl-on-the-dance-floor dance moves... oooohhhhh yeahhhhh*

* oooohhhhh yeahhhhh... Chris recently pointed out to me that I might want to stop quoting the Kool Aid Man since our two year old has now picked it up. Hmph. I told him I'll just start quoting the Slim Jim guy instead.