My Open Letter to the Church

If there is one thing Millennials hate it's being told what to do. I know. I myself am somewhere in the upper range of Millennials (1983 - hollah!). And I loathe being told what to do. Ask anyone. Ask my mother. Ask my husband. Ask my old boss who used to frequently lay tasks on my desk only to be met with a screeching, "No! You do it!" He had to get a job in the bishop's office to hide from me and my wrath. Thus far my demands that the Rev Canon Newt now rehire me as his right-hand gal have been unfruitful. Of course, I've applied for my job to be to sit next to him while we wear matching sweater vests and I smoke a pipe looking thoughtful. Perhaps he just doesn't realize yet how necessary this position is.

All this is to say: Don't tell me what to do. I do what I want.

So why is the Church bending over backward to get us Millennials in the door? Eeew. Gross. Hello every denomination in America, have you ever heard of playing hard to get? Okay, I'm kidding... a little... but not entirely. Hear me out...

From my viewpoint it seems like getting my generation into the doors is all the American Church wants to talk about lately. "Wah, wah, Millennials aren't going to church. *cry*"
Church! Pull yourself together! So someone doesn't like you! It happens! You are acting like the teenage girl whose boyfriend breaks up with her and she won't stop calling him. Oh honey, that isn't how you win him back. For heaven's sake child, hang up the damn phone. Put a cool washcloth on your eyes so they don't look puffy in the morning. Slather on some makeup and don your most fabulous outfit. Then go to school and be the most beautiful, charming, and interesting person there. That'll have him regretting his decision to ask Tammy to prom instead of you.

Church... do you see what I'm getting at here? You are spending so much time chasing after the Millennials, and trust me, you look desperate. Who wants to hang out with the desperate girl who wont stop calling? No one. That's who. I said something along these lines to a friend recently and her face showed her instant disapproval: she was appalled. She kindly said, "but what about the Great Commission?" Yep. What about it? Have the Millennials not heard of Christ? Is the Church meeting in a secret undisclosed location that only they are not allowed to know about? The Millennials are uninterested because the Church is uninteresting to them.

Yep, I said it. And I'll say it again: the Millennials are uninterested because the Church is uninteresting to them. Do I need to say it in all caps?

Here's the thing Church with a capital letter C: you don't have to chase after this generation of young people. They know you exist. They just aren't that into you. And that's okay. Because someday they will be interested, and you'll still be here. Right here waiting with open arms for the prodigal son generation to return.

So, what to do about this "uninteresting" thing, eh? We can't just leave that big awkward elephant standing here in the room can we? Here's the deal... young people are bored by headlines like "Millennials Leaving the Fold" which is what I saw when I clicked on cnn.com this morning. Strangely enough, Millennials aren't that interested in hearing about Millennials. We feel suffocated by that. We don't like being bossed around so when we hear that the Church is frantic to get us... well... you see how that's going. What are we interested in? Authenticity. People and groups who don't try so hard to impress us. Millennials' current viewpoint of the Church is that it's a place that is trying desperately to get their attention. The way to get Millennials in the door is in fact, to stop trying so hard to get them in the door. And for Christ's sake (literally), stop talking about trying so hard to get them in the door. Church, do you get what I'm saying here?

So the Millenials didn't ask you to prom. It happens. I'm not going to be the friend who hands you a Twinkie and a Dr. Pepper and tells you "you're better off without him." You aren't. And the Millenials aren't better off either. We need each other. We're better together.

So, now what should you do about it? Put a washcloth on your eyes and stop calling them. Let them come to you. They know where you are. Stop stressing out over where they are. Just be you. Be the Church. The Church doesn't have to be pushy and clingy and desperate for this generation to like it. Ironically, here's the trick to getting Millenials to like you: don't worry so much about whether or not they like you. They know you exist. Yes, part of our identity as the Church is to evangelize. We have Good News and we need to share it. The thing is though, that sharing it with Millennials doesn't mean calling them in tears every fifteen minutes wondering if they want to reconsider the break up yet. Sharing the Good News with Millennials requires actions speaking loudly. It requires invitations that aren't desperate sounding. Invitations that are genuine and sincere. Millennials aren't interested in the Church the media portrays - you know that Church - the one hyperconcerned with empty pews. Millennials aren't interested in a Church that talks about evangelizing to Millennials. They are interested in a Church that is busy evangelizing. Now, go do your thing. Evangelize. Feed the hungry. Visit the sick and lonely and imprisoned. Welcome the sinner. Heal the broken. Church, you are beautiful.That is what makes you interesting. You are interesting in your depth. In your mystery. In your strength and peace and confidence. You are beautiful in your Truth. You are beautiful in your hands and feet and the work that they do in the world. These are the things that make you interesting. Focus on those things and the Millennials won't be able to help but start knocking down your doors.