W.O.W.

Words of Wisdom by Carolena

If your mother insists you wear shorts to the Y, but you think you look fabulous in just your Elmo shirt and diaper, stand up for fashion. If she goes so far as to try and physically force shorts onto your body, fight. Kick, scream, claw. Do what you have to do to get away pantless. If your mother tells you to go to Time Out and only come out when you are ready to wear shorts, sit in Time Out. Sit there for a long time. When Mommy comes periodically to ask you if you are ready for shorts, scream. Throw the shorts back in her face. After about 20 minutes Mommy will probably relax on the couch with chips, a drink, and a Sodoku book. Hmph. Stupid chips. Hmmm... chips. Chips? Politely ask if you may have some chips. Think about it a while and decide that chips are worth it... put on the shorts.

If you are lucky enough to receive a lime green t-shirt featuring a pirate meerkat with a mom tattoo, wear it everyday. Pirate meerkats are the height of fashion this season. Refer to your pirate shirt as "my yo-ho" until eventually you'll realize that takes to long to say, at which point you can just shorten it to "my ho." In fact, while your at it just refer to anything piratey as "ho." If you are in a store and see a Jolly Roger or something with a skull on it, yell out, "Mommy! See! Ho!!" as loudly as possible. Pirates are awesome. She won't want to miss seeing it.

Take a few bites of your dinner to humor your parents. Say, "yumm" and smile. Then, casually push the bowl to the middle of the table, shoot your mother your most adorable smile and ask, "happy?" ("happy" means cupcake). Mommy will probably say no and meanwhile Daddy will get up to cut some grapes for you. While Daddy is at the sink lean over conspiratorially to Mommy and whisper, "cookie cookie?"

Viking Women Were Independent

One of Carolena's books is an Eyewitness Book whose subject matter is the Vikings. Honestly, it's fascinating and I can spend amazing amounts of time pouring over its pages. Last night I pulled it out and read this portion out loud to Chris:

The page title is Women and Children and the first sentence reads, "Viking women were independent." The book goes on to say, "women had a considerable amount of power and status. When their husbands were away on raids or explorations, they were left to run the farms, so they were capable and strong-willed..."

Indpendent. Capable. Strong-willed. Yep, that about sums it up. My female Viking ancestors must have had dominant genes, although, that's really no surprise all things considered.

W.O.W.

Words of Wisdom by Carolena

Some kids sit quietly in the pool while their mothers relax nearby. Those families are boring. You and your mom prefer adventures. You and Mommy like to explore every aspect of the pool. The two of you like to get in and out and go all around. The pool is a fantastic place for expending energy and wearing out your mom.

Never go into your car seat without a fight.

There is a song for everything. Even if you've never actually heard your mom sing a song about snakes, or fish, or your glowworm "Howie," or {fill in the blank with anything}, that doesn't mean the song doesn't exist. Request songs about your favorite things - your mom can always come up with something.

Peeling bananas is always more fun than eating them.

Hunger is the Best Pickle

When I was pregnant with Carolena I didn't have many pregnancy cravings per se. I had a heck of a lot of aversions to different foods (namely anything green) and certainly ate more than my fair share of queso (one day I realized I'd had queso seven times in five days... those were five fantastic days) but didn't experience any stereotypical pregnant woman moments when it came to food.

Last week I ate an entire jar of dill pickles.
In one sitting.
And drank the juice.

I regretted it for about 24 hours afterward and put out a household decree that no one ever mention pickles again in my presence.

Last night Chris kindly reminded me of this when I opened a new jar. Realizing the wisdom behind his words and recalling how miserable the entire jar episode had made me feel, I reluctantly relinquished the jar. I then sat on the couch and spent about thirty minutes or so debating the merits of a cream cheese and pickle sandwich.

I wonder how pickles might taste with queso...

W.O.W

Words of Wisdom from Carolena

Cheese is food from heaven. Eat it as often as Mommy will let you. Stand by the fridge and politely say, "cheese?" If Mommy declines, voice your disapproval and cling to the fridge like it's a life-raft. If you see a bowl of cheese on the table sneak over and use the serving spoon to take a big bite. Who cares that it's Parmesan! Take another bite! Cheese, glorious cheese!

If you wake up from your nap and find that you have pooped, don't call out for Mommy. Hang out in your crib for a while. Take off your diaper to make yourself more comfortable. Don't play with or touch the poop in the diaper. That would be undignified. Rather, simply enjoy the freedom of your newly undiapered bottom. Read some books. Practice some of the new words you've learned lately. Perhaps sing a song. After a while call Mommy. When she comes to the door, nonchalantly lean over the side of your crib and offer her your soiled diaper with a casual, "Hi Mommy. Poop."

The vacuum is not to be trusted. Do not show it fear. If it dares show its loud ugly face scream at it. Run, yell, show it who's boss. The vacuum is an elusive beast who rarely ventures out of the cave in which it lives. Take heart: the good news is if the vacuum is out then company is surely close at hand.

TWO!

TWO! Our little Carolena is two! 

I remember getting to know Carolena in those first few days and knowing even then she would turn out to be the independent vivacious girl she is today. When she was born the doctor held her up and her little face was just priceless. Had there been a thought bubble above her head it would have said, "What the heck? Who are all of you people? What just happened?" She was bright eyed and alert from the get-go. While still in the hospital she kept trying to push against me to look around. I said to her once, "You really could just lie down... you're a day old and you don't even have neck control yet."

Carolena. A smart confident independent vivacious girl. The life of the party. She lights up any room. She cracks us up and fills our hearts with love. Thank God for Carolena. What a blessing she is in this world!

Happy birthday to my babe.

W.O.W.

Words of Wisdom
By Carolena


Cats prefer to be called "mees." No matter how many times your mother or father calls a cat "cat" or says "meow," continue to refer to them exclusively as "mees." It's just an abbreviation of the word "meow" really. When talking to or about something as exciting as a mee who has time for extra syllables?

If you happen to see something with a pirate, a jolly roger, or a skull on it, yell "yo-ho!" and point it out for everyone to enjoy.

Play with your "Snow Mite" doll as much as possible. Ask to watch her movie everyday (most days Mommy will say no tv, but hey, it's always worth asking). When your parents sing your bedtime prayer each night scream "No! Heigh Ho!" over and over until they get the idea and sing the right song. Let's face it... "Snow Mite" is amazing.

All desserts, especially cupcakes, are to be referred to exclusively as "happies."

If you see someone with his/her eyes closed you should be sure that everyone around is aware that Mommy, Daddy, or one of your cats is sleeping. Press your finger to your lips and say, "shhhh" to anyone else in the room. Then, as loudly as possible, yell the sleeping person's name so that there isn't any confusion as to why everyone needs to be quiet. It's just common courtesy really.

catnapping

It's nap time. All I want to do is lie in my bed, eat a little lunch, maybe read or watch tv, certainly try to take a catnap...

Catnap.

Something about my being pregnant makes our cats obsessed with me. I cannot over emphasize how needy they become. They want to sit with me, by me, and mostly ON me at all times. They won't take no for an answer. They sleep on my side of the bed. They're always there... watching... waiting... trying to force me to snuggle.

It's too much. I wish they would learn to play hard to get.

Sheesh... get off me cat!

This happened last time I was pregnant too. Max is the worst. When I was pregnant with Carolena I was still working and so I would arrive home each day to see him slink around the corner. If he'd been able to speak he would have said in a silky voice, "I've been waiting for you alllll day!"

Now I'm a stay home mom. There is no respite from the cats.

As I type this Olive is lying along my side and Max is trying (successfully) to lie in my arms like a baby. These are strange times indeed.

Can't a mom just have one second to herself around here?

W.O.W.

Words of Wisdom
By Carolena

Anything can be a horse. Use what you have available to show off your adventurous spirit. A broom? A large watermelon? A stuffed animal sheep? Yes, all of these things when sat upon can be a horse! Simply sit on the desired object and say with a smile, "it's a horse!" The equestrian world will appreciate your fresh new outlook.

Sometimes it is necessary to lie. For instance, if your mother asks if you pooped or need a clean diaper, just say "no" no matter what the case may be. Getting your diaper changed takes time out of your busy schedule. Just lie so that you can move on with your life.

Car rides can be long and boring. Entertain yourself (and your parents) by pointing out every flag you see along the way.

If you are lucky enough to find a locust shell on your front doorstep leave it there to check out every time you walk in or out. Refer to it as "my shell" so that it is clear to everyone who the shell now belongs to. That locust may have not realized its inherent value and thus left it behind, but you are smarter than a locust.

Always dress for success.