It's the New Jan Brady

I've been asked to present my "success story" at Weight Watchers. Our leader sent me home with a few questions to ponder before addressing the group, and I've enjoyed thinking over them so I figured I would answer them here on my blog. My blog is mainly just a creative outlet for me so this is a little different (and honestly makes me somewhat uncomfortable), but I post this to keep myself motivated and hopefully to motivate others as well. So, without further ado, it's the new Jan Brady:*

How did you feel before you joined Weight Watchers?
In January I gave birth to my second child. As you can see in this never before seen on the internet photo, I had a lot of weight to lose:

I left the hospital with a body conveniently large enough to rest my newborn on while he snoozed. I actually felt pretty good though. I've never been one to suffer from low self esteem (thanks to my fabulous parents) so in typical sunflower-hat-wearing Casey fashion, I figured I looked pretty good for having just had my second child. I was happy to not be pregnant anymore, had a beautiful newborn to stare at, and though I felt uncomfortable from the weight, I reminded myself that I had just had a baby after all. A few weeks went by and as the pounds came off I felt better and better. Then, I hit a plateau. I'd lost about 20 lbs and felt great about that, but I felt stuck and uncomfortable in my own skin. I knew the summer months (heat!) were coming and soon I'd be squeezing myself into too-small shorts and feeling awkward in a bathing suit. I knew all of the extra weight would make a Texas summer miserable, the heat unbearable. One night I plugged my weight into a BMI calculator and I came up as overweight. The next morning I was sitting in what would become my new home for Tuesday mornings. I was in a Weight Watchers meeting for the first time. 

What helped you believe that you could change successfully?

Early on when I began losing weight someone made a snide comment in front of me (as part of our conversation, knowing that I could hear). We were talking about weight loss and this person said to the person next to her, (with a wave of her hand as if dismissing me) "well, it's easy for her because..." It was a moment in my life in which I actually got to be in someone else's shoes. It's easy for me?! Wow. I am usually the one saying/thinking that about other people. "That mom lost all of the weight because it's easy for her. She doesn't like dessert." "That mom lost all of the weight because it's easy for her. She has time to work out." "That mom lost all the weight because it was easy for her. She's always been small." That mom..." After my first pregnancy I was full of "reasons" that other people were losing weight while I wasn't and I never finished burning off the last of the weight.

Hearing someone be dismissive of the fact that it might actually be hard for me was eye opening. It made me realize that whether or not losing weight was hard or easy for me has no bearing on anyone else. I realized that even if losing weight was easy for me, that didn't change that woman's reality. In that moment I understood that whether or not it's hard or easy for other people to lose weight doesn't change my reality. This woman's snide comment was about her, not me. It was her excuse for why she wasn't losing weight. Though rude, it actually had nothing to do with me. Weight loss and maintenance is hard for most people. It is. Accepting this reality made me able to believe that I could change. This woman's rude comment was freeing for me. It freed me from kidding myself with the hope that it would somehow be magically easy. It freed me to accept that it is hard for other people too. This new freedom allowed me to believe that I could change. Realizing that it wasn't going to be easy and recognizing that other people's ability to lose weight has nothing to do with me, that was freeing.

Now that I have hit my goal I am aware of how often people make that comment to me. It takes different forms but it's always the same message, "It was easy for you because..." This is irritating in that it belittles the hard work that I have put in (and continue to put in). It assumes that I have not chosen to pass up many a margarita at the beach this summer. It ignores the number of times I have awakened before 5am in order to squeeze in a workout. It underestimates the number of times I've stood in my pantry shoveling peanut butter or chocolate chips (or both) into my mouth all the while knowing I will beat myself up about it later. I remind myself that other people's ideas about why it's "easy" for me are just that: their ideas, their excuses, their problem. Not mine.

How did you feel when you reached your goal?

Honestly, it wasn't the balloons falling from the ceiling, confetti flying feeling that I thought it would be. I felt a little unsure. Was this really goal? Should I lose another pound? Or two? Or three? I spend so much of my life trying to be a better person (in a healthy way). It seemed uncomfortable to announce to the world, "this weight is the one I'm happy with!" For me, reaching goal was a time of reassessment. Yes, it was exciting, but it was confusing and scary too.

The day I received lifetime membership was different. The six weeks of maintenance were really good for wiping away those bits of worry. Yes, I do feel good at this weight. Yes, I feel confident and comfortable in my own skin. Getting my lifetime membership recognition was much more exciting than goal for me. I feel like I've accomplished something awesome. I feel like I've won. 

How do you ensure that your relationship with food is changing for good?
For me, this means following the Simply Filling plan. With Simply Filling I've been able to keep a lot of the meals I fed my family in the past with some tweaking to the recipes. I make red beans and rice twice a month. I swapped out the white rice for brown, reduced the oil I use, and just ditched the cornbread all together. Hamburgers, taco salad, and stir fry are all still in the normal menu rotation - just with leaner meat. I switched to skim milk, no fat cheese, and keep a fruit bowl stocked at all time. I also go to meetings every week. Every. Single. Week.

As I mentioned, losing 45 pounds (25 with ww) hasn't been easy. But, it has been as easy as possible. Weight Watchers gave me exact instructions on how to lose weight, and I learned early on that if I follow the "rules" then I win. If I cheat on my eating, then I don't lose weight. It's that simple.

What are the things holding you back? You look at me and think (or say), "It's easy for you because..." because what? Because I'm young? Yeah, my mom is twice my age and just lost a ton on of weight on ww too. Next!
Because what? Because I gained the weight from pregnancy? Yeahh... and McDonald's and Taco Bell and Blue Bell and the list goes on. Newsflash: the fat didn't know how it got on my body. It was there. I had to burn it off. End of story. Next!
Because what? Because I have time to work out? See the above comment about waking up at 430am. Next!
Because what? Because I don't freak out and shovel food into my face like I've been lost at sea for a year? Uh... you're right... no... I don't do that... ahem... awkward guilty silence... Next!

Because what? What are the things holding you back? Don't ignore those things. Think about them. Then kick them in the face. In the words of my favorite three year old,

"YOU CAN DO IT! I KNOW YOU CAN!"

*How many of you are typing "it's the new Jan Brady" into Google right now?