Say How Do You Do & Shake Hands & State Your Name & Such (Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum)

There is a chance that Carolena and I might need to both work on our meeting new people skills. This morning at the park we met (as in met - as in never knew before - as in "hi my name is...") a mom with two kids the same ages as C and Nils.

Here are some actual snippets from our morning:

Other Mom, "Now that we have two kids I really appreciate my morning cup of coffee. I set the timer on the pot before I go to bed!"
Me, "{incoherent nonsensical ramblings about having to get things done at night now}"
What?! Let's just blame that on the fact that I don't sleep nor do I drink coffee every morning.

Carolena proclaimed herself Elsa, the playground as her castle, and then began singing "Let it Go" at the top of her lungs. The other kid was not allowed on that portion of the playground as it was now her castle. Geeze.

The boy's name was Matthew. Being unable to pronounce the "th" sound yet, Carolena referred to as "Monkey."

And finally, there was this little gem when I said, "Did you get the email about the person in our neighborhood who lost their 85 lb tortoise? I hope I find it."

Yeahhh... I don't foresee that mom inviting us over for coffee anytime soon.

Some People

Some people have well-lit photographs of their kids in finely smocked and monogrammed outfits.

Some people look photogenic after childbirth.

Some people bring in professional photographers to take pictures of their newborns.

Some people take monthly photos of their baby in a cute pose with a sticker pinned to his or her shirt with his/her age on it.

Some people go for the artsy look and use filtered lighting or fancy instagram nonsense.

 Some people just aren't any fun.

We aren't those people.

Conversational Carolena

"Don't touch my glasses. They'll be dangerous for you. Don't touch them."
Said out of no where about a pair of fish sunglasses she was wearing.

"Don't worry. Be happy, Carolena."
Sung to this tune but she adds her own name in.

Me: "Carolena, is there poop in your diaper?"
{there was}
Carolena: "No, my sweet mommy."

"Mommy, you go to witch doctor meeting?"
aka... weight watchers

Words of Wisdom

Words of Wisdom
By Carolena

When you wake up from a nap, spend some time in the peace and quiet of your own room. Talk to your stuffed animals. It lets them know they are loved and appreciated. Read books. Tear the covers off of books. Look at your photographs. Eventually, call your mother. As soon as you hear her at your door, dive under the covers. When she comes in she'll ask, "Where aarreee youuuu?" to which you should respond by giggling and calling out the name of who she should be looking for. For instance, perhaps that day you are a baby fox in which case you should respond by giggling and then calling out, "where are you baby fox?!" Other good animal choices include but are not limited to: baby horse, baby pig, baby marmot, and the ever popular baby chipmunk. Once your mother has searched the room and finally found you under the covers, squeal in delight and dive into her lap for a snuggle. Have her refer to you as baby chipmunk (or whichever animal you decide upon) for the rest of the afternoon.

Having a new baby has many advantages. Not the least of these is the amount of time Mommy will have to spend feeding, changing, and diapering the baby. While this loss of one-on-one Mommy time is a bummer sometimes, it helps to use the time to foster your creative talents... or just take care of "Mack Baby" the cat. If Mommy is busy diapering Nils, gravitate to the pile of clean laundry sitting on her bed. Hm... Max is innocently lying nearby the laundry. When Mommy is finished diapering explain to her what you have done to take care of Max. "He needs his blankies (aka Mommy's underwear) and... his... hat! (a bra)." At the word "hat" place the bra as carefully as possible on top of the cat's head.

Just Another Frantic Sunday

5 am already
I was just in the middle of a dream
I'm awakened by a hungry baby
and the noise of a toddler's screams
Gotta get two kids ready
Faces washed, bodies dressed, bellies fed
These are the days
When you wish you could just stay in bed
 
It's just another frantic Sunday
I wish it were Friday
'Cause that's our Saturday
My hubby's "I don't have to work day"
But it's just another frantic Sunday

Gotta jump into the shower
And maybe do my makeup while I nurse
And if I had another arm
I could stop the toddler goin' through my purse
It takes me so long just to figure out what I'm gonna wear
Think I'll just throw something on
Cause it'll soon be covered in spit-up and cat hair

It's just another frantic Sunday
I wish it were Friday
'Cause that's our Saturday
My hubby's "I don't have to work day"
It's just another frantic Sunday

Of all the mornings
Why does it have to rain right now?
We're soaked but finally in the Narthex
On time but don't ask me how.
Doesn't even matter
Just need to get into my pew
Lord Almighty, now where is my toddler's shoe?

It's just another frantic Sunday
I wish it were Friday
'Cause that's our Saturday
My hubby's "I don't have to work day"
It's just another frantic Sunday

Words of Wisdom

Words of Wisdom
By Carolena

If you are listening to the popular Mary Poppins ditty A Spoonful of Sugar (which, of course you are) take care to pay close attention to the lyrics regarding robins. "A robin feathering his nest has very little time to rest while gathering his bits of twine and twig. Though quite intent in his pursuit he has a merry tune to toot..." If you listen closely you'll be able to tell your mother later about robins who toot in their nests, "Two robins! They toot. Yeah, robins toot in their nests."
*Mommy note: Well played Carolena. Well played.

When arriving home from Kroger if your parents allow you to carry in the bag with a loaf of bread in it, be sure to maximize this opportunity. When your mom asks you to bring the bread to the kitchen so that she can put it away ask her which loaf of bread to which she is reffering. "My baby bread?!" Carry the baby bread around for the rest of the evening. Poor baby bread. Why has no one cared for her in the past? Give her a clean diaper and pajamas. Wrap her in a blanket. Carefully hold her, sing to her, and rock her. Baby bread is such a sweet darling baby. Treat her as such.

Host parties for your stuffed animals. They give you so much it is really only fair to give them something fun in return. Be sure to offer them their beverages of choice and play your red can "drum" for them. They'll want the party to rage all night long so act shocked if you return in the morning and the animals have retreated to their boxes. Hmph. Mommy probably broke up the party. What a stick in the mud.

Aspirations

I once attended a Sunday school class that operated in a traditional format of lecture and small group discussion.* It was nearing the end of the hour. We'd heard an amazing teaching and spent time in small groups discussing the topic. The class was coming to an end when the person next to me turned to an old woman at our table and asked her what she thought. Let's call this old woman Betty. During the course of the hour Betty had smiled kindly and nodded during the lecture and as each of us had taken part in the discussion but not added anything to it herself (and note that I'm calling her "old" and not "older" - she was old). So, as I mentioned, at the end of the session the person next to me turned to Betty and said something like, "Betty, do you have anything to say about that?" to which Betty responded, "Hold on Dear, let me turn on my hearing aids. What?"

Another Sunday Betty arrived a little late to Sunday school. Too late, in fact, to snag one of the donuts. Finding only an empty box, Betty interrupted an entire table listening to the lecture in order to find out where more donuts were. Eventually, Betty convinced one of the ordained persons to go and fetch her a donut... from across the entire church campus... in the middle of someone's lecture. Well, we all have priorities. Evidently, once you reach a certain age, donuts trump Sunday school. Or, at least someone else's learning in Sunday school.

Betty gives us all something to aspire to: live long enough to demand your fair share of donuts and then turn off your hearing aids and enjoy!

*I've attended several churches during my life. I'm not telling who the real Betty is or what church this happened at. Just imagine any little old lady at your church, and that's Betty.