ABCs of today

Addicted. It's Sunny in Philadelphia. Netflix. Need I say more? Okay, I'll say more. I love Charlie Day. I think he is so adorable and told Chris that if there were a movie version of our lives Charlie Day would play Chris. I then reenacted a scene from It's Sunny in which Charlie's teeth fall out because he never brushes them... Chris was not amused but rather bemused (Chris brushes his teeth). "It's the actor! Not the character that reminds me of you!" I'm not sure he bought it.

Back and Bootcamp and Birthday- I strained a muscle in my upper back yesterday (no, Mom, no tooo badly. Just like a big knot) and it's too sore to go to bootcamp tomorrow. I'm totally bummed about this as tomorrow is my birthday. Does that sound crazy to you? For people's birthdays in bootcamp we do everything in sets of their age. So tomorrow we were going to do 33s. I'm bummed.

Coffee, what else? Despite my neurologist's recommendation to keep caffeine to two cups of coffee a day, I've been letting it creep up again. It's always a caffeine roller-coaster around here. Not really a caffeine roller-coaster... coffee. Just coffee.

Dirty. Well, maybe not dirty but messy... our house that is. I've been trying to clean all week and it's messier than when I began. How does that happen?! I think because I'm trying to clean out and reorganize and not just hide away all of the crap. Our house is weird because we have several areas that are basically empty (like the cabinets underneath all of our bathroom sinks) but then we have crapola everywhere that doesn't seem to have a place to go. Reorganizing makes everything so messy. Messy, not dirty.

Erik Weihenmayer aka My New Hero. Remember how I only want to talk about Everest or Antarctica? Well, guess what... Erik Weihenmayer has been to both. He's done the Seven Summits and is so lovable and, oh by the way, he does all of this blind. I need everyone to read his book so we can talk about him all of the time. I emailed his facebook contact page and got a reply from his manager (or some such person). She asked me where I live so that they can consider inviting me to an upcoming talk. Oh my gosh I reeaaalllly want to go hear him speak. Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to do to sign up for his No Barriers commitment. Let's all do it. It doesn't have to be a physical challenge. Anyone else want to sign up?

Freaking stalker... yikes. If all I want to do is talk about Sir Ernest Shackleton that's fine. But somehow having my new hero be someone living makes me sound like a stalker... I'm not, just to be clear. Although if Erik Weihenmayer lived nearby I would invite his family over for dinner... sooo... hmm. Just read the damn book and you'll feel the same way. Trust me, I never throw out a broad "you have to read this" to everyone I know, but this one. Yep. Read it.

Girl Scout Cookies. I think the solution to the "I want to buy a bunch but not eat a bunch" problem is to purchase the "Thanks A Lots" and give them to people for whom you are thankful. We bought four boxes of cookies, ate two, and have two to give away. Perfect solution. I can't wait for kids to join scouts (years from now I'm going to be up to my eyeballs in cookies and popcorn and look back on that sentence and roll my eyes).

Hoopla. We just realized our library has Hoopla and we can borrow digital media - ummm awesome! So at the moment we're listening to Disney audio books. C is snuggled up on the floor and Nils is wandering around with Pup-pup and King Julian (his two lovies).

Ingredients. The ingredients we always have on hand? Ingredients for red beans and rice, homemade pizza, pasta, and stir-fry. These are my go-to meals when I don't feel like going to the grocery store. Except that I always forget about stir-fry so we pretty much never have that.

Jimmers. When I went to Beaumont this week the plan was to come back with Jimmers' boyhood dresser aka my childhood dresser aka Nils' new dresser. With Jimmers' help I filled the entire bed of the truck. I came back with the dresser, an awesome ancient trunk, a small table for the backyard, two huge cubbies from my old preschool, and two blue velvet wing-back chairs. Needless to say, Chris was surprised.

Katie. Oh thank God for Katie. Katie is the first friend I made after we moved here and she is fabulouso. We have kids around the same age and they all love each other so that works out nicely. Nils talks about her boys pretty much all of the time. Last Friday while our husbands were at Dio Council Katie had us over for pizza and ice cream and when bedtime came I tossed my kiddos into pjs and one out of two fell asleep on the drive home. Since Friday every single time we've gone anywhere at all Nils has cheered "Cooper and Charlie's house!" and is disappointed ("ooohhh") when we pull into anywhere that isn't their house.

Lent. The day before Ash Wednesday this year I was still like, "Oh yeah... Lent... I don't feel like it this year" but then I recalled that Lent is about remembering that I am not the Creator. I am the creation. So, perhaps the years when I'm "not into it" are the most important years of all. Perhaps those are the years when I most need to remember that I am not God. So, I'm doing it. Lent, that is.

My mom. I'm in the mood for my mom to come visit. We can go thrift-storing and hang up pictures in my house and rearrange furniture and watch chick flicks. Come over, Mom! It will be fun fun fun!

Nils. That little guy is hilarious. Like, purposely hilarious. Yesterday evening the kids went to the neighbors' house to play. I made dinner with our back door open and listened to the squeals of happiness coming from the yard next door. Being old enough to go play with the kids next door? What fun for all of those kiddos!

Oatmeal. My current breakfast. Old fashioned oats, a sprinkling of chocolate chips, and a spoonful of peanut butter all stirred together. Yum.

Piney Wood Fever. We came back from Beaumont with sore throats and itchy eyes. Why is that always the case when it's the same eco-system? Carolena walked through the kitchen yesterday and said in a croaky voice, "Well, it feels like I've got the Piney Woods Fever." Ha! Piney Woods Fever! That kid. From henceforth all southeast Texas allergies shall be known as "Piney Woods Fever."

Quest. I'm on a quest to find a bicycle built for two. Not a quest like I'm looking online and going to buy one for a couple hundred dollars quest. A quest like I'm checking Goodwill often and hopefully this quest will end with me paying like $50 and laughing manically every time I ride it that someone marked it $50. That kind of quest. I'm also on a quest for vintage hats. 

Rush. I'm really excited about our birthday present for my nephew Rush this year. I had to clear it with my sister, but if you don't want me to ruin the surprise then stop reading. Ready? A jar of worms. Hahaha. Really. Yeah. I think I'm going to make one for us too. I'm going to put layers of dirt into a big jar (with holes in the lid, of course) and then fill it with worms. It's going to be awesome. Don't you wish I were your aunt too?

See America First. Oh my gosh - while at my parent's house my mom gave me a big trunk with a See America First sticker on it. I'm giddy. See America First?! That trunk must be like 100 years old. I wonder who put that sticker on it. I wonder where they went. My RPTS side is geeking out.

Too damn early. Why are my kids waking up too damn early everyday?! Stay in bed! Sleep! Geeze Louise.

Under our bed. We have more things stored under our bed than under my bathroom sink. That seems strange to me.

Vacuum. Yep, we got a new one. Again.

Walrus. "Carolena, if I didn't know any better I would think you were a baby koala" I said to which she innocently replied, "Mommy, if I didn't know any better I would think you were a big fat walrus swimming in the sea." Evidently if you are 4.5 then baby koala and big fat walrus are comparable in the list of okay things to call another human.

X - x was Carolena's letter of the week this week and she brought in a T-Rex. We thought and thought and thought about what to bring. The morning her letter bag was due we still had nothing for it... until I tripped over the T-Rex, picked that sucker up, and tossed him in the bag. Thanks Carolena's school homework guardian angel!

Yesac. That's my backwards name. Amileen and I used to love figuring out how to pronounce everyone's names backwards in elementary school. Huh, Amileen is now probably what you think her name was... it was Neelima. Or was it...? Now you're confused... bwa ha ha!

Zoo! Tomorrow is my birthday and we're going to spend the day at the zoo. I can't wait. I love my birthday (yeah, I'll admit it) and I'm going to live it up. I was going to start the day with bootcamp, but alas, I guess I'll start the day some other way. I'm definitely getting Starbucks though. Probably. Maybe. Eh... I'll just make coffee at home. And then we're going to the zoo! Hooray! The zoo is one of our family's favorite outings. Everyone has a blast. We get to be outside. Kids are consistently well-behaved there. Zoo! Zoo! Zoo!

Why Is That Tape On Your Nose? Exactly.

Yes, it is practicing my piety before men to blog about many of the deeper water things I blog about. Yes, I am judgmental. Yes, I am proud. And yes, I do have a little someone who does her best to argue about these things with me. It's the job of the eldest I suppose. *wink*wink* I love her.

I'm just trying to engage people in thought. In conversation. I feel like conversation and pushing people to think (even when they disagree with me) is imperative and hopefully trumps doing things in secret to be rewarded in secret. As a wise woman pointed out to me (see above) - we can't do everything in secret... or else the Church would be a secret. Bam. So true.

So, yes, I can be annoying and harsh and definitely wrong. But, like others, I'm just trying to do my best. Trying to push people into dialogue and delving deeper. Some of the people in my life who have pushed me the most on delving deeper in my faith are those with whom I disagree.

Ashes to Ashes

It's coming... one of the hardest decisions we liturgical church goers have to face...  {cue overly dramatic music here} Wipe the ashes off or keep them on?

Like many things, I have a very strong opinion about this. Do what you want. Do what's best for you. But it's my blog and I'll theologize if I want to, theologize if I want to. You would theologize too if it...

Ah, the great contradiction of Ash Wednesday: the smearing of ashes on our foreheads while listening to the gospel reading about how those who are fasting should wear clean clothes, anoint themselves with oils, and basically look like they've got it together.

But this isn't a contradiction. It's a command. A command that many of us ignore.

Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be praised by them...
Well, after you read what I have to say you'll know I'm not saying it for praise. Come tomorrow afternoon when you see people around town and facebook with ashes smeered on their faces you'll see that many people disagree with what I have to say. Nope, no praise seeking here. An unfortunate smattering of judgement to be sure, but praise seeking I hope not.

When friends notice that I wipe my ashes off before leaving church they often question me in a somewhat aggressive manner. They usually press me on the topic by claiming that leaving ashes on the forehead is a good witness to others. It strikes me as funny that people feel so strongly about the "witness" of leaving ashes on their heads. Do these people care about "witness" any other day of the year? Okay, yes, people will notice. They might ask you about it. Yes, wearing ashes on ones face might strike up a conversation. However, I would say that misses the point of the imposition of ashes. There is a reason why we hear that particular gospel reading right after receiving the ashes. Because we're supposed to respond to it!

I think that the value in the imposition of ashes is in the receiving of ashes. It's not about wearing the ashes. It's about the action of kneeling at the altar and hearing those words, "you are dust and to dust you shall return." Then, we return to our pews. We hear that gospel reading instructing us to not smear dirt on our faces and strut around town. We kneel and confess our sins to God our maker. We receive the body and blood of Christ.

And I wipe the ashes off my head. Yes, I have been reminded of my own mortality. But then I am reminded of grace and hope and newness of life. Yes, I am mortal. I am dust and to dust I shall return. But I am a person of the Resurrection which means that in the newness of all things, the renewal of heaven and earth, I will Rise out of the ashes.

This, as a side note, is my problem with the Ashes to Go movement. No Eucharist? No reminder of the Resurrection at the end of all this? Just "you are dust and to dust you shall return"? What is Christianity without Christ? Without Resurrection? Perhaps I'm missing something in the ashes to go? And what about the whole command to do this kind of thing in secret? But that's a hot topic for another day.

I think witness to the world has little to do with dirt on our faces. It is about living in such a way that points to the victory of the cross. Serving others rather than self, lending a hand to those in need, putting Christ and his church at the center of our lives, to me these are the things that witness our faith. Smearing ashes on my forehead is something that I need to do each year. But I do it for me. It is a physical reminder of the harsh cold reality that I am dust. I was created and I will die. That reality isn't what I center my life around though. I live my life in the hope and joy and truth that I will live again. That we will rise up out of these ashes and live a new life with the Resurrected Christ.

So sure, you can keep the ashes. I think there can be value in that for some. But I'm going to wipe mine off.




“Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then in this way: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you" (Matt 6:1-21)

Tis a Gift to be Simple

We live in a Mardi Gras world. We love gluttony and overindulgence. We prefer things to be fast rather than to fast.

Confession: I love Lent.
Confession: I've slacked off on my lenten disciplines for the last few years.

The earliest Christians observed Lent as a period of fasting and prayer and preparation in order to align themselves with Christ and best prepare for the celebration of the Resurrection. Celebrating the Risen Lord and new life is so deep and real, a period of preparation is set aside leading up to Easter. Kind of like our pre-season warmup. Okay, I shouldn't use sports references. I have no idea if that's what Lent is like.

In the past, I've been known to give up things like chips, or cokes, or whatever. Then, one year I gave up complaining. And it was transformative. The tricky thing about fasting from something like complaining, is that at first you'll be really bad at it. I found myself retrospectively taking back complaints. Then, gradually, I stopped myself from vocalizing a complaint. Eventually, by Easter, I had eliminated many complaints from even popping into my head in the first place.

Lent is a time for us to concentrate on being more like the person who God intends for us to be. In some ways that is universal. God wants us to be people full of mercy and grace. Full of hope and life and love. In some ways it is deeply personal. God calls me to be a person who is creative. He has given me a heart for social justice. These are the two things I am going to concentrate on this year. Creativity and compassion.

I guess if you want to put it in language of "fasting" - then I am going to fast from inaction. I prefer to view it in terms of what I'm "taking on" this year. I'm going to do something creative every single day. Whether its blogging, or painting, or constructing, I am going to use my creativity every day. When I'm being creative I feel more like the person God created me to be. I'm going to take on more active compassion. I am always full of ideas about how to show mercy to others. I am going to act on these ideas.

And let's not forget about the R word: repentance. Repentance is at the heart of Lent.
Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand! (matt 3:2)

If we truly repent, then we turn away from our sin. It is like we literally, physically, turn our bodies away from what it is that distracts us and turn our faces back to God.

This is the point of Lenten practices. To put aside those things which hold us back. To repent from them. To turn our faces back to the Risen Lord.

I don't think there is anything wrong with fasting from material things. Really, I don't. We give up tv every single year. There is something holy about turning off the tv and spending more time together as a family. Giving up chips and cookies is actually a great fast and a way to become more like the people God wants us to be. But, I want to propose that lent is more than just choosing something to abstain from. It is more than just giving up cokes and spending forty days waiting for Easter so you can pick the habit back up. It is about transformation. It is about setting aside those things which defile us and taking on those things that change the world. It is about working to look more like God's people. So, do God's people eat chips? Yes. Do God's people watch tv? Sure! But we are also called to be people who live in charity, and mercy, kindness, and grace. We are expected to fight for justice. I think if we work to take on these things, it will indeed be a very holy Lent.