It's My Party & I'll Cry If I Want to...

Sometimes hormones get the best of us. Women that is. We are certainly the stronger sex, it's just these damn hormones.

I hosted a baby shower for one of my best friends today. I spent months day dreaming about the shower: what I'd serve to drink (iced tea with several options of simple syrups), what I'd wear (the only dress I had that was ironed), what decorations I'd use (handmade banner and some puffs I made for Nils' baptism lunch).

And then the party weekend arrived.

And that was when I realized that throwing a baby shower when you have two kids is... challenging.

Yesterday I looked around our filthy house, thought about the fact that I had not yet ironed tablecloths, made the iced tea (which I accidentally left until the last minute and was still making when guests arrived), or finished folding origami hearts (yes, really). And then I announced that I was going to go workout. I threw on my gym clothes, loaded Carolena into the car, and headed off for some BodyPump and quality time with my workout buddy (yay! Megan is back!).

And then I came home. To a filthy house and a huge list of things to do. I spent the rest of the day and into the night working to get things done. I woke up early and shipped Chris and Carolena off for their day of fun.

I scrambled to get the house clean (read that as "I threw, literally threw, things into the bedrooms and closed the doors"). I cursed myself for not making the sandwich fillings earlier. I imagined my mom saying to me "Get dressed. You can finish plating desserts when people are here." Thank God for that one. As it was I only managed to put on mascara!

Thankfully, Nils was a perfect angel all day (when is he not?) and even though I answered the door to the first guests as a sweaty mess who hadn't made iced tea yet for an iced tea party and was holding a baby who wasn't dressed yet, everything turned out great. Any party is great as long as you've got food, drinks, good music, and good people.

Nils was eventually dressed. Although, he outgrew that particular outfit sometime recently and had to wear it unsnapped so it looked like a dress. Poor Nils. Hmm... that was the last nice outfit that fit... I wonder what he'll wear to church tomorrow. He had a blast today. He took a long nap this morning (he actually fell asleep in his jumparoo!) and enjoyed some peace and quiet. He was a party animal at the shower and wooed everyone to the point that the little charmer skipped an afternoon nap.

So, I left everything to the last minute. I was Martha with Jesus in her home. I hid tons of stuff in our bedroom rather than actually cleaning our house. I didn't put on makeup (mascara only counts as the bare minimum of having makeup on in my book). I had to frantically make finger sandwiches in such a crunch of time that I pretended it was a Top Chef Quickfire challenge. I hid all of the stuff in our kitchen in the dishwasher like it was a cabinet. And yet, none of that can be blamed on hormones. That was all just procrastination and taking care of my children all week rather than cleaning the house.

At the end of the party I started chatting with one of the guests. She is pregnant and due any time now. She talked some about her first pregnancy and delivery so I asked her the age of her older child. As it turns out she lost that son to SIDS almost two years ago when he was just four months old. She pulled out a locket with a picture of him to show me. And I started crying. Yep, crying. Oh, hello nursing mother hormones, good to see you again.

It was weird. But also, not weird at all. In that moment, seeing his beautiful chubby little face, I just felt her sorrow. This was a woman I had literally just met. This was our first ever conversation. And I found myself crying (not sobbing, but a little more than tearing up) over a picture of her deceased child. She teared up too and it was a strikingly wonderful, beautiful, raw moment between two young moms. We ended up chatting and crying and finally laughing for a little while longer. It was a strange and beautiful end to a strange and beautiful day.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. You would cry to if it happened to you.