I'm Being Swallowed By a Boa Constrictor...

Oh no, oh no, he swallowed my toe! He swallowed my toe!

With two little ones under the age of five and a second (very loveable but sometimes somewhat demanding) spouse named "the Church," life involves a lot of squeezing right now. Squeezing in the things that have to happen like laundry and dinner and vestry meetings and working to fill them with love as best we can rather than stress. My little helper monkeys folding laundry help to fill that task with love (and wrinkles) and the combination of working ahead, a freezer, and a crock pot sure does fill our dinners with less stress and more love. And pizza and a movie as the standing vestry night activity around here will forever be what my children think "vestry" means. Someday they'll be active adults in a parish, run for vestry, and be disappointed to discover that the meeting doesn't mean hitting up the redbox (or future equivalent), tossing on pajamas, and spreading "the pizza blanket" across the living room.

I don't have time for squeezing in Facebook or watching tv or movies. But I do have time for crafting with my kids. And baking a freezer full of baked goods for the school fall fair. And squeezing in the library, and decorating for Halloween (it's an on-going creative process around here), and more baking for the school fair. I've squeezed in time for reading for fun falling asleep snuggled with my book (Into the Wild at the moment) and am exactly one week ahead in my work on the Gospel of Mark... which isn't as good as it sounds because I really need to squeeze in the end of that and get to work on Luke! Yikes!

We've squeezed in ballet lessons, and pumpkin patches, and plenty of spontaneous family dance parties... most of which are initiated by Nils hearing a song he likes on Pandora and yelling "come on! come on!" dancing around the den. He loves my "Proud Mary" station. We're also squeezing in more than enough time for preschool humor knock-knock jokes. Nils loves those as well and has already added his own to the mix... spoiler alert: boy humor evidently begins before the age of two. You don't want to answer the door if he says "knock knock!"

I'm squeezing in my early morning workouts. We're squeezing in special family time being sure to mark it off in advance on the calendar... because we're taking the wisdom of older, wiser clergy families and refusing to let our family get squeezed out. And in the midst of all of the squeezing we find rejoicing and prayer and thanksgiving. Constant thanksgiving.

I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor... but I'm a Syltherin so it's just fine. We're doing alright. We'll just toss the boa a party hat and invite it to the next Proud Mary living room dance party.

Grace-Full

Some days I nail it. Some days I have a seemingly unlimited amount of patience for critters in my household including but not limited to cats, children, a husband, and a plethora of spiders. Some days I am creative and fun and resourceful and kind. Some days I am generous and compassionate.

BUT...

But some days I have a secret (until Chris finds me) crying melt down in the laundry room because someone *cough*not-me*cough* unknowingly spilled bleach on the edge of the kitchen counter and I got it on my new shirt and one of only two pairs of shorts that fit me well. You know, my new shirt that I found at Goodwill this week (and is thus not replaceable) that says "think positive" across it.
And no, the irony of hiding in the laundry room to cry over bleach on someone else's cast-off "think positive" shirt is not lost on me at all.

Some days I have stressing melt downs over the fact that the work that I literally did not have time to get done until Saturday morning (scheduled to be done between the hours of 440-7am) was interrupted by the early rising of a chipper nugget who refused to "go snuggle with Daddy." It is a universal law of motherhood that any work left until the early morning hours of the last possible minute will be interrupted by a random early riser.

Some days I awake tired because of the Halloween festival that I forced everyone to go to at bedtime the night before which was not really even fun. Some days the coffee just isn't strong enough. Some days the scheduled on the calendar "family day nothing else!" turns out to be a day when everyone should really just hide from my wrath.

And days like this are the days I'm reminded of grace. Free, unearned, undeserved, free flowing love.

Chris took the kids to the park for the morning so that I could finish my work. Pizza dough is rising. Beer is in the fridge. Aggies are on tv much to the glee of Nils who cries out "football! football! and is happily eating two suckers and a box of Nerds while watching the game (duh, didn't I already convince you it's that kind of day around here?). Supergirl is flying around ready to "save the people!" and now that my slightly postponed work is finally finished I know that a good book and a calm bed are calling my name.

Yes, grace abounds. Grace abounds.

Rhino Hide

I just went to retrieve my single cup of coffee from my coffee maker and found a cup of water sitting there. Was the Holy Spirit trying to tell me something in some sort of coffee into water type miracle? Surely this was a sign from heaven telling me it's time to back off the caffeine.

I stared into the cup of water for a few minutes and then realized I just forgot to put in the grounds. Coffee full steam ahead!

Don't buy that coffee pot. It sucks. And I don't often say something "sucks." But if you have any respect or love for coffee at all, for the love of God, steer clear of the Bella. It is atrocious. My environmental side finds the Keurig abhorrent for my own daily minimum two cup use (yeah, I said it) and my inability to regulate coffee means I need something small. *sigh* This is one of the many reasons why I told Carolena recently to just never get addicted to caffeine when she's a grown-up.

Someone recently asked me for advice on how to not take everything to heart. "How do you not let everything get under your skin?" she inquired (she's a fellow clergy spouse).

I blathered on about taking the advice that I give to my daughter "no matter what you do not everyone is going to like your shoes, hair, (fill in whatever) so you might as well just do what you like" and just about general confidence in the fact that I can't help how other people act; only how I react.

But really I should have just said, "I drink a ton of coffee and it might be turning my skin into rhino hide and that's why nothing not everything sinks in. Tough coffee rhino skin."

You're Welcome Future Casey

Hallelujah I did it! After dropping the kiddos off at school yesterday I spent an hour and a half in the grocery store and came home with ingredients to fill the freezer.

Then this morning I slept in. Yes. I, Casey, THE MOTHER, slept in.

*til seven*

You might be laughing that I consider 7am sleeping in... but my alarm goes off at 440 everyday... soooo... that was major sleeping in for me.

We cleaned the house this morning. Really. We did. Shocking, I know. Evidently, announcing "let's invite a friend over right now!" gets us to move our fannies. The friend wasn't able to come, but the house is now clean. Mission accomplished. {maniacal laughter}

So we went to the park and upon returning home I managed to make a ton of shredded chicken taco meat (thanks crock pot, duh), a huge pot of southwestern vegetable and chicken soup (sans green beans because... really? green beans? and with more cumin because if a recipe doesn't call for at least a tablespoon of cumin I assume it's a typo), AND a pot of white bean soup. The white bean soup is for consuming over the next few days as I highly doubt its freezability. Dang it - and I also bought ingredients to make Bean and Barley Soup but just now realized I haven't made that one yet... better get those beans soaking. PLUS, there is bread on the counter, dutifully rising and awaiting the hot oven. I think I might try baking it most of the way through and then totally cooling it and freezing it to pop in the oven another night. We'll see how it goes.

Or I'll bake it all of the way through and it will come out of the oven and we'll sit down, eat the whole thing, and then not eat anything for dinner. Yeah, that's more likely.

Bible Study Day: The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day Solution

I led Children's Chapel at church today and if I do say so myself (and it's my blog, so I do) - the lesson was a good one for people of all ages to hear.

These were the readings we heard in church today. Read them or don't. None of the kids listened and Children's Chapel worked out just fine so don't feel bad if you don't feel like clicking on a link to the lectionary.

Ever read Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day? That's pretty much what the lectionary readings were. So we read Alexander in Children's Chapel. And here's the deal:

People have terrible horrible no good very bad days. That's a part of life. Luckily, scripture shows us time and time again that having a complete melt-down over them is just fine. Ever read the Psalms? Melt-downs. Seriously. I took a class on the Psalms in seminary and there is an entire category in which you can label a Psalm "complaint or lament." God is just fine with people sitting on the end of his bed and sobbing about a terrible horrible no good very bad day. Just fine. In fact he will probably pass you some bon-bons and a tissue and let you wail as long as you need to.

And it gets better. Not only does God want us to give voice to our sufferings (seriously, he invites people in scripture to it all of the time), he often has a plan. A new plan. A better one. How about Hagar who was pregnant with some old dude's baby (sorry Abraham, but really) and had to live as a servant in his household and wait on his wife who "dealt harshly with her" (Genesis 16:6)? Hagar meets none other than God's angelic diplomat in the wilderness who says to her "what's wrong?" (Genesis 16:8). The angel knows Hagar's name and that she is Sarai's slave-girl and yet still asks, "what are you doing?" If that isn't an invitation to vent a terrible horrible no good very bad day(s) then I don't know what is. So Hagar does. She is asked to return to the home of Abram & Sarai and later ends up hanging out with the angel in the desert again where God makes a new plan for Hagar(that's a terrible summary, just read it lazy bum: Genesis 21:8-21).

You know who else vents a terrible horrible no good very bad day to God and gets a new plan? A little guy we like to call... oh... maybe you've heard of him... ELIJAH. Elijah has pissed off the people in power (specifically Jezebel) who then gives him a death threat (1 Kings 19:1-2). Once again God comes and says "what's happening?" to which Elijah is invited to give voice to his suffering. "Everybody wants to kill me!!!" he says (which mmmmaaayyy have been a slight exaggeration but is for sure how he felt). And what does God do? He makes a new plan for Elijah. 1 Kings 19 if you want to pick it up.

So, what should you do when you are in the midst of a terrible horrible no good very bad day? Vent. Pray about it like the Psalmist prays (today's Psalm included "My God, my God why have you foresaken me? and are so far from my cry and from the words of my distress?" and that's just the intro! Psalm 22). Give voice to your suffering and tell God all about it. God wants to be in relationship with his people. We all know relationships require some venting.

And then prayerfully get a new plan. As the kiddos talked about at church this morning, there are plenty of people in your life who love you and want to help you. Think about who those people are. Ask them to help you make the new plan.

And for heaven's sake, remember: EVERYONE has a terrible horrible no good very bad day sometimes. Even in Australia.

Dear Nils,

Seriously?
Love,
Mommy

How To Win Friends And Influence People: Not Afraid of Anything

Remember how I was looking for a book to read at C's school Halloween party?

Found it. Today we checked out The Little Old Lady Who Wasn't Afraid of Anything from the library. It should surprise no one that once I borrow my parents' gray wig (what? other people don't think that's a normal thing to say?*) I have all of the pieces to put together a costume and BE the little old lady.

YEESSSS!

Plus, I have everything to pull together all of the things she isn't afraid of in the book and have a really interactive book reading. The shoes go clomp clomp? Well guess what kid? You get to "clomp clomp" some of Chris' shoes.

The little old lady wasn't afraid of anything... and evidently neither am I because I just sent an email to people who don't know me (and thankfully one who does) depicting the details of my plan. THIS is what they're getting in response to "hey can someone find a Halloween book for us to read to the kids?"

{maniacal slytherin laughter is appropriate here}



*I also have been known to say, "Oh this old thing? It's my banana costume on permanent loan from the Jim Rush Collection."